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Theatre Review: Sparrow Heights

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12 May – 7 Jun
Greenwich Playhouse,
189 Greenwich High Road, SE10 8JA.
£12 (£10), Tue-Sat at 8pm, Sun at 4pm – Booking Info

Imagine a camp Dad’s Army (ok, a more camp Dad’s Army) with heavy influences from Monty Python, Blackadder, and every WW2 film you’ve ever seen: this is Sparrow Heights.

Devised by actor Martin Hearn and his company, Sparrow Heights is an unashamed romp, with enough innuendo to outdo Barbara Windsor and more puns than your Dad.  The story follows four British soldiers, who embark on a highly disorganised mission to rescue the enigmatic General George Geoffrey Bungle from the hands of the Nazis, after they’ve captured him to steal a recipe for chocolate sausage pie.  Told you it was camp.

The ludicrous premise is followed through with maximum farce and a bombardment of toilet humour that is rather painful at first, but once you’re into the rhetoric of Sparrow Heights it begins to feel much more comfortable as the pace gathers towards the close.

Well-credited director Alastair Green asks a lot of his actors, as each takes on about four different roles and the scarcity of props also necessitates a good deal of miming.  The intimacy of this small scale affair also means you can see every bead of sweat and spit that these guys put into it: 10/10 for sheer effort, and for learning 70 minutes of dialogue that could fill 3 hours if spoke at a normal pace.  Adam De Ville leads the way in all respects with a fantastic rugger-bugger precursor in his English General, closely followed by Carole Carpenter who holds her own as the only gal and deserves credit for sheer volume: after this you’ll be looking at Bette Midler in a whole new way.  Chris Courtenay and Martin Hearn round things off as the camp and the stupid respectively, and fulfil their roles adequately, though with a little less commitment than the other two and a bit more sweat.

Amidst the farce, this play is really a critique of the way in which popular culture has devised such polarised stereotypes of WW2 personnel: alcoholic, cowardly Generals, dumb privates and barbaric, deviant Germans. It pokes fun at the film genre it has borrowed, with double crossing spies hidden by ‘impeccable’ foreign accents, slow motion death scenes, and the feeling that it really was all jolly good fun, despite the dastardly danger.  I suspect there’s a serious message in here about our collective tendency to glamourise, to the point of ridicule, horrific events in our history.  But it’s only with hindsight that Sparrow Heights evokes this kind of thinking – surrounded by talk of chocolate sausage pie, it’s difficult to think in such real terms.

Pub Review: The Royal Standard, SE3

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The Royal Standard
44, Vanbrugh Park, London, SE3 7JQ

The Orchid Group’s Royal Standard is a bit like the politician of local pubs – it surfs firmly down the middle ground, trying extremely hard to cater for all tastes. And though it’s a smart outfit that creates a general air of comfort and doesn’t charge you extra for its Wisteria free chimneys, all in all it’s just a bit bland.

The Royal Standard is a large, open pub in three distinct areas; the ‘bloke’s’ area at one end has high stools and a big plasma screen, the focal point bar and plenty of standing room sits nicely in the middle, with the more upmarket leather sofas and spider plants rounding things off at the other end. Its size doesn’t let it be cozy, but it does at least allow one to sit down.

The Royal Standard takes no risks with the bar fare or the menu, pushing a very slight ‘Best of British’ angle whilst still offering mediocre Pinot Grigio and bowls of Nachos. The staff are nice and smart, though like many other local pubs a few more smiles and a bit more chat wouldn’t go amiss.

The cries of ‘Yeah’ and ‘Come On’ from the blokes’ corner (Man United were losing at that point) didn’t seem to intrude on all the generally mixed clientele, and there were also a notable number of solo customers making themselves at home with their laptops, newspapers, or simply just a pint. Obviously a good place to go to catch up on your reading.

Since they’ve put in so much effort it would be unfair not to mention the pub’s other extensive offerings: quiz nights, Sunday roasts, advance booking, wifi internet access and fairtrade espresso coffees. Phew. The Royal Standard certainly ticks all the boxes, it’s just that in trying so hard to please everyone it doesn’t seem to really stand for anything. Just like a good politician, really.


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Remember, Remember the… seventh of May

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You probably will have heard or seen the spectacular fireworks display over HMS Illustrious last Thursday at 10pm. The Greenwich Phantom has some excellent pictures and it certainly made for an awesome spectacle.

But the next day, Malcolm contacted Greenwich.co.uk to make the point that because there didn’t seem to be any advanced notice or publicity for the fireworks, not as many people got to enjoy them as might otherwise have done so.

He also raised the issue of pet owners who would have wanted to keep their pets safely in, as advised to on Bonfire Night, had they known what was about to be unleashed into the sky at 10pm. Malcolm also tells me that one neighbour’s dog bolted when the noise started and had shown no sign of returning by the next day – hopefully he has been found safe and well since then.

I asked on Twitter what people thought about the fireworks and got a very different response from Peter, who wrote: “really enjoyed fireworks from back window. Kids loved them too.Delighted to have random displays from river. More please!”.

So, two very different perspectives on the Royal Navy’s evening display – but what did you make of it? Was it a nice surprise (after the damp squib helicopter flypast) or was it a night-time nuisance?

The International Year of Astronomy

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Four hundred years ago the renowned Italian scientist Galileo Galilei pointed a telescope to the heavens and became the first man ever to see the craters of the moon and, more significantly for our understanding of the universe, the planet Jupiter’s four brightest moons. If, as was abundantly clear to him, these moons rotated around Jupiter, then, surely, the answer to the peculiar motion of the planets around the sky was that they rotated around the sun in a similar way, and not round the earth. This conclusion led to Galileo’s famous dispute with the Church, but it set astronomy on its course and this is what we in Greenwich are now celebrating in the International Year of Astronomy.

Royal Observatory Greenwich

The Royal Observatory at Greenwich is playing its part with various events and a competition. Little over sixty years after Galileo’s discoveries, Charles II founded the Royal Observatory, hoping to improve navigation, save lives at sea and foster trade. The astronomer and architect Sir Christopher Wren suggested the site and designed the building. Meanwhile, the first Royal ‘Astronomical Observator’ John Flamsteed saw his task simply as the production of as full and as accurate a map of the stars as the instruments of the day could produce – instruments, incidentally, that royal parsimony required him to provide from his own pocket. One thing leading to another, Flamsteed’s map gave Isaac Newton the basis on which he could calculate the motions of the planets with such accuracy as to enable him to produce his theory of gravity. So, Greenwich has much to celebrate.

Its new planetarium is in full swing, and there are visits to the great Twenty-Eight Inch Refractor, among the largest telescopes of its type, but now just a museum piece. There’s also a photography competition, open to amateurs. For this, you will need a decent telescope plus camera, and some knowledge of how to do things, so it’s not for everybody. You will also need clear, dark skies, and you will not find them here; the glare of the city’s lights makes sensible photography of heavenly objects all but impossible. That’s why the Royal Observatory abandoned Greenwich for scientific observation as long ago as 1948.

This does not mean that there’s nothing worth observing from our murky skies. Binoculars or a small telescope with a tenfold magnification, firmly mounted to avoid wobble, will readily show what Galileo saw. With a fairly modest eight-inch telescope there is much more. Mine takes me so close to the moon that the view from my back garden, just a mile from the Royal Observatory, is almost horrific in its utter loneliness and desolation. Jupiter’s moons are an easy target, and, just at present, Saturn, with its ring and five brightest moons is a wonderful sight, but only when the sky is clear and the air still. Greenwich is not so bad after all. Even so, while I have photographed the park, I shall not be entering the competition to photograph the stars above it.

Anthony Quiney’s book “A Year In The Life of Greenwich Park” was published recently by Frances Lincoln.

What do you think of e-Petitions?

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I noticed a problem with a set of traffic lights in Kingston at the weekend, and being a civic minded kind of chap, headed over to the Kingston Council website to report it. Whilst there, I noticed they had an “ePetitions” section where residents could sign up to make their voice heard in support of particular issues.

I did a bit of Googling, and it seems that there’s quite a few councils around the country that do this now, and I think it’s a smart idea. Probably the most well known use of ePetitions is on the 10 Downing Street, which has given people the chance to promote all manner of causes to the government, with the most recent high profile one calling for Gordon Brown to resign.

Unfortunately, as far as I can tell, Greenwich Council doesn’t offer an ePetitions system which is perhaps not surprising as I don’t think digital engagement is really their speciality. That’s a bit of a shame, as there’s no shortage of contentious issues where a petition might be quite useful. So in the absence of anything official, I thought we might try and set up some petitioning functionality on Greenwich.co.uk.

I’m evaluating the technical options for doing this at the moment, but if you have an idea for a petition to pilot the system and help get us going, send an email to rob@greenwich.co.uk

Or do you think ePetitions are a waste of time? Any comments on this are welcome.

Pub Review: The Auctioneer

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The Auctioneer
217-219 Greenwich High Road
SE10 8NB

Cheap (ish) and Cheerful

Within 5 minutes of entering this pub my friend and I were deep into reminiscing about our student days, which pretty much tells you all you need to know about The Auctioneer.

Part of the Mitchell and Butler’s ‘Scream’ branded chain, the pub makes no bones about it’s cheap and cheerful pretensions. The generic mish-mash interior and scruffy, sticky, leather furniture, mark this as a place not too fussed about its appearance and unlike most Greenwich pubs, the only mark of historical significance is graffiti on the tables informing you that, at some indeterminate time, ‘Mark woz ‘ere’.

Numerous whiteboards scream (geddit?) offers on any drink that you could put in a pitcher, and the bar is full of the usual suspects including a job lot of Carlsberg and Blossom Hill Rosé. The drinks disappointingly aren’t that cheap, but then most clued up students will know that your ‘Scream’ loyalty card will get you a discount on the more sensible drinks like Sambuca, or Screambuca as it’s called here. Classy. There is also plenty of food on offer, but given the grubby state of the menus you’re a braver person than me if you choose to give the £5 burgers a go.

But let’s not be too snobby – the Auctioneer doesn’t over promise and it’s good that the university contingent is catered for amongst a sea of very well to do pubs in Greenwich. 7 or 8 years ago I used to feel right at home in places like this, and The Auctioneer was well stocked with people for a weekday evening. Therefore, although this place may not be to everyone’s tastes, it’s a fairly perfect version of what it is: a place to get drunk before you go and steal some traffic cones.

What they say: “Aimed at students and like-minded individuals, and famous for its range of burgers as well as its excellent lager and cider selection, these pubs are often the best place in town to watch all major sporting events” – Scream Website

What you say: “It’s the sort of place where I would take the boys there for a weekend knees-up without worrying about spilling beer on the floor!” – Fellow Customer

What do you think of the Auctioneer? Post your comments below…


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Pictures from Fly Navy 100 Helicopter Flypast

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As part of the Fly Navy 100 series of events, there was a “Centenary Flypast” today which saw a selection of Royal Navy choppers (apparently one of each of their frontline models) fly in formation over Greenwich, and HMS Illustrious which is moored here for a week. I thought long and hard about the best place to capture this moment and decided that wandering across to Island Gardens would be my best bet. Once I was over there, it didn’t feel like such a great move as the helicopters were so high, it wasn’t really possibe to capture much Greenwich scenery in the background which is what I was hoping to get.

I heard the occasional snippet of commentary drifting across the river so I think on that side it may have been a more informed experience. But across the river we got to see the marching band on Lusty strike up and perform some of their greatest hits (“Rule Britannia”, “God Save The Queen”… that kind of thing) for a lucky group of spectators onboard.

I’d have to say the Flypast didn’t really live up to its billing. It was over pretty quickly and they were so high up, it was hard to see them in any detail and I don’t think there was the 40 that we were expecting to see, unless the Navy has some stealth ‘copters available to them! I heard one guy call it “underwhelming” and I think that may be the right word for it.

Looking around at some of the camera equipment on display around me, my Canon Powershot G9 seemed distinctly underpowered, but here’s some of what I got.

Choppers over Greenwich

Helicopters

People Take Photos of Flypast

Band Entertains Guests on HMS Illustrious

Here’s a video I put together with images of the flypast and other stuff I saw, such as boats on the river and the band on HMS Illustrious who are just about audible.

See also: Darryl’s coverage at 853 and also IanVisits.co.uk

Pub Review: The Plume of Feathers

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The Plume of Feathers
19 Park Vista, SE10 9LZ

A slice of history

Trading on a 400 year legacy that makes it the oldest pub in Greenwich, the Plume of Feathers has obviously worked hard to maintain and market its quaint English charm. The result is a welcoming, traditional pub, short on space but big on character.

The green tiled exterior and hanging baskets create a pleasant aspect on one of the prettiest streets in the town, and it’s location off the main road gives it a less ‘city’ feel than other places in the area. Though brewery owned, it has the atmosphere of being family run, as the interior walls are covered with historical memorabilia: slightly dodgy painted plates, pictures of Greenwich old and photographs of what are presumably old landlords or notable Greenwich residents. All a bit random, but not totally out of place here.

There are a couple of real ales to choose from amongst an otherwise fairly predictable selection, and the service is efficient, if a little unsmiling. There is also food on offer, a surprisingly modern selection including vegetarian mezze and quesadillas as well as the obligatory burgers and chips. Somehow reading about stuffed vine leaves on a home made laminated menu is a little odd, but as a vegetarian I am grateful for the effort.

There is a lovely beer garden out back and the place is clearly family friendly. I did find it a little uncomfortable sat on bar stools that were slightly too large for the tables, but I guess it hasn’t changed a lot over the years and people were smaller then! One thing I will say is that although it is ‘oldie worldy’, the pub is very clean and that gives it a big tick in my book.

I stayed longer at the Plume of Feathers than I have at a pub for a while, so that’s a good indication of how comfortable I was in there. I would go again.

What they say: “Attracting locals, walkers and some tourists, the place gets packed and buzzes with a lively, congenial atmosphere.” Plume of feathers website

What you say: “I like that it isn’t totally full and has a wide selection of drinks, which is good as I drink Pernod!” Fellow Customer.

What do you think of the Plume of Feathers? Post your comments below…

Pictures from London Marathon 2009

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On Sunday, thousands of athletes and fun runners took part in the Flora London Marathon. Here’s some great photos taken by Dave Levitt, who managed to spot plenty of cartoon characters and animals as they made their way through Greenwich.

Also check out Darryl’s post at 853 with his photos capturing the big event.

Pub Review: The Mitre

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The Mitre Hotel
291 Greenwich High Road
SE10 8NA

Keeping it real

If you ever have a friend visiting from another country and they ask you to show them a real British pub, take them to The Mitre.

The Mitre ticks almost every box on the ‘proper pub’ checklist. The large main area is adequately shabby with slightly sticky, worn décor, chesterfield sofas that have seen better days and a faint smell of stale beer. You get the feeling that many a good night has been had here by football fans and students alike and there’s been no urgency to get the industrial cleaners in afterwards. It’s certainly not flashy or impressive, but it all gives the place a sense of relaxed authenticity that is rather charming.

The drink selection is everything you would expect with a range of mainstream lagers, good soft drinks and a strong wine list to complement its emphasis on food. Expect the usual pub fare including burgers, fish and chips and chocolate fudge cake with a few vegetarian dishes as well.

Although The Mitre has its contingent of locals who prop up the bar stools, it is by no means unwelcoming to newcomers and is well situated for passing tourist trade and students. There’s a big beer garden and occasional live music, and you could even stay the night in one of the 15 bedrooms if the temptation to make a night of it in the tantalisingly named ‘Irish Bar’ is too great to resist!

‘Real’ pubs like this are increasingly rare these days, as most London watering holes seem to feel the need to spruce up, bulk buy the Tiffany lamps, prefix their pub-ness with the term ‘gastro’ and stick 50p on all the drinks prices. Not so the Mitre. It knows its place and doesn’t try too hard to change it. Good on ‘em I say.

What they say: “…run like a family business, but with all the professional care and attention you expect” The Mitre Hotel website

What you say: “Great location and a good place to come to watch the footie on a Sunday” Fellow Customer.