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Review: Drings Sausage Workshop

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Sausages.  Drings.  Drings Sausages.  The words roll off the tongue like National and Maritime.  I’ve heard the sausages lauded on Radio London by Drings regular Danny Baker, eaten them at scout barbecues and sampled the World Cup special variety created in the green, gold and black colours of the South African Flag.  The latter were superbly tasty, and I’m hoping they can be rolled out again for the Brazilian World Cup (only they’d have to miss out the black bits).  The creative team at Drings might be stretched for the Olympics and, perhaps, that’s why they are spreading their wings with a series of sausage making workshops.  Maybe they are looking for new ideas from their eager amateur sausage trainees for celebratory special editions, bangers to mark the opening of the Cutty Sark, chipolatas to slip into a toad in the hole for the completion of the foot tunnel renovation…I might be getting carried away.

With a little trepidation about the gory side of things, I joined the eager group of wannabe butchers who turned up for a Monday evening sausage workshop after a dull, February-grey working day.  The kitchens Drings were using were those of the Greenwich Co-operative Development Agency on the Greenwich Centre Business Park.  The facilities were first-class; the gleaming surfaces made us feel like real chefs.   The ‘sausagees’ were provided with aprons, although we had been warned to wear old clothes in case we got the odd bloodstain.  I’ve never been hugely keen at looking at large lumps of dead meat, but I became curiously sanguine when faced with a whole side of pig (organically reared Blythburgh pork).

Butcher and Drings owner Michael Jones’s enthusiasm was infectious; he started with a potted history and geography of the sausage covering, amongst other places, Iraq, South Africa and Northern Europe.  He took us through facts about sausages that appeared to have hitherto eluded most of the group and made us feel we were on the road to becoming sausage archivists.  It sounds odd but it was compelling stuff – but still the side of pork beckoned.  Health and safety and knife handling were all that stood between us, chasing down the ribs, de-boning the pork and having a bottle of beer.  The knives were razor sharp and Michael gave much excellent information about how to handle one; use a steel and get a knife ground.  Then we were let loose – suddenly the room went quiet as the group got down to work. With knives that were sharp and fingers that were hopelessly amateur there wasn’t much room for error.  Mercifully all went well and the group breathed again.

Michael’s partner in butchery for the evening was Andrew; they have worked together at Drings for two years creating their own sausages on site.  He produced a dozen bags of mince he ‘had prepared earlier’ for us to make our first unseasoned Italian sausages.  Handling the mixture was like kneading bread; a very therapeutic activity.  Instead of silence there was thumping, scraping and satisfied punching of the sticky mixture – who would have thought that releasing the protein could be so satisfying?  The machine for piping the sausage did look like a spaceship from Flash Gordon, all aluminum and hinges.  Although Andrew allowed the sausages to effortlessly gush in one long stream from the machine it wasn’t to be quite so easy when the amateurs took control.  Loading the machine and turning the crank had all the joy of playing the game Mousetrap – except with edible results.  The whole process was great fun, but looking two yards of sausage in the face was just the start of the trouble, and we were soon to learn the technical term for ‘trouble’; linking.

Linking was the highlight of the evening, it was like knitting with spaghetti, or, as my neighbour described it, balloon modelling with meat, and he nearly did make a poodle.  I can’t repeat the twisting and looping action that we learned, but Michael and Andrew nursed the group through it with care and enormous attention.  The sense of achievement that each member of the group felt was tremendous, comparing the size of each others sausages was, of course, a favorite occupation and ribald comment was the rage.  Now Michael and Andrew really cut us free with another 2kg bag of mince and a table laden with crumb, herbs, Meantime Chocolate Beer and so on. Our job was to concoct a sausage of our own to take home.  I quickly lost track of what I’d put in, but I know that chocolate beer, mace and apple played some part.  22 chains of sausages look very impressive, and that is what the group had made by the end of the evening.  The links had become more regular as time passed by and it all looked pretty professional, not bad for three hours work.

The evening concluded with Drings sausages in buns and Meantime Porter for refreshment, an almost perfect combination.  There wasn’t a dissatisfied customer in the kitchen.  If you want to know what goes into a sausage there’s no finer place to start – although Michael was curiously quiet on the subject of black pudding.  One of my fellow ‘sausagees’ was anxious to tell us how much better it was than the Red Letter Day experience he had been on.  That might be because Michael and Andrew weren’t just good teachers; they were great.  They were clear, interesting and fun – I suggest Drings put that in a sausage and sell it behind the counter.

I came home with my DIY haul feeling like the hunter-gatherer returning from a particularly good day on the Thames Estuary flood plain.  Now I’ve just to get them out of the freezer and test them on the family.

Michael will be running more sausage workshops, but his next venture is an evening of beef, provisionally booked for March 7th.  He’ll look at the whole animal, including cheaper cuts, so you might make your money back when you visit his shop. The price is £85, which might seem a lot, but I came home with plenty of meat, had food, a good time and was genuinely impressed by the art of sausage making.  You can follow Drings on Twitter as well as contacting them at Info@drings.co.uk.

Review: The Caucasian Chalk Circle, Greenwich Theatre

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The playwright Brecht’s artistic vision was to address issues of huge significance and confront the audience with them – in short, to make the audience think.  Blackeyed Theatre’s production of The Caucasian Chalk Circle, currently running at Greenwich theatre, does fulfil this aim successfully and in doing so marries the play’s historical setting with current affairs.  Director, Tom Neill, begins by confronting the audience with an energetic debate as villagers aggressively invade the auditorium to argue about land ownership shouting over the audience’s heads; from then on we know we’re going to have to sit up and pay attention.  In this moment the ensemble convey successfully the tensions of all land disputes from the neighbour’s fence to the problems in the Middle East.  This level of topicality is sustained throughout the evening and the story resonates with the big issues of the day on many levels.  Images of today’s politicians, protests and riots are projected onto the walls of the set. I found this quite effective, but at times lost track the thread of the visual argument.

The set is simple, yet everything is significant, and there is no starker image than the noose that hangs over the stage.  During the play the noose also becomes a mountain and a river across which one of the characters makes a perilous journey.  Part of the excitement of the evening was to see how the props that littered the stage were going to be used, and then reused to create a new scene or image.  Every element is imaginatively used in a production that is endlessly inventive.   The use of a violin as the baby at the centre of the story had a real poignancy, and the fragility of the instrument that, like a baby can scream pretty loudly, was delightful.  I did wonder if, as the baby grew, the violin would transform into a viola and cello, and I was rather sad when it didn’t.

The ensemble consists of five very talented actors, but on occasion it is stretched to convey the numbers of characters that Brecht creates.  This leads to an awkward ending where the child at the centre of the story is literally pulled between his birth mother and foster mother.  No matter how inventive the direction there is no getting away from the fact that a good deal of the impact of the moment is lost is having one character play both roles – however true to Brechtian intent the action might be.  In other respects Anna Glynn’s performance, the actress who played both parts, was the highlight of the evening.  She moved between the grotesque masked character of Natella and the more sympathetic Grusha with real ease.  I was moved by the contortion of her body that created, at times, genuine shock and despair.

It’s important to say that the evening was also fun – the ballad singing of Paul Taylor held the story together with an easy charm and the musical accompaniment was both witty and had punch.  Many of the characters, no matter how grasping or revolting, had a comic sensibility and laughter was not in short supply.

As the story developed I felt the pace of the action dipped slightly in the middle of the second half, but I was impressed by the ability of the actors to drive the story forward and it wasn’t long before the two intertwining stories grasped my attention again.

‘The Caucasian Chalk Circle’ is a play of enormous scope and creates a huge vision of the interplay between individual and the state.  Blackeyed Theatre’s production is one of the most successful productions of the play that I have seen.  It remains true to those elements of theatre practice that Brecht was particularly known for, and as such it was also a real education for the audience and the many students watching.

The Caucasian Chalk Circle runs at Greenwich Theatre until Saturday 12th February.

Review: Private Peaceful, Greenwich Theatre

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Michael Morpurgo wrote Private Peaceful with a mission in mind, that was to help grant posthumous pardons to soldiers shot in the First World War for cowardice; this was, happily, realised in 2006.   In Simon Reade’s adaptation the character Private Peaceful too has a mission; to ‘set the record straight’ with regard to his conviction for cowardice. In a play lasting 80 minutes, he does just that – the performance lasts only slightly longer than the court martial that has convicted him.

The stage is set without any trappings, just a young man curled up on an old iron bedstead in a barn, awaiting execution by a firing squad.  The young man is Private ‘Tommo’ Peaceful, and the play keeps returning to this location as his pocket watch “slowly slides away the seconds” towards the final moments of his life.  We experience flashes of his life as Tommo’s story gradually unfolds during the course of the play.  There is an inevitability about the structure of the narrative but the trick that is so successfully pulled off is to make the audience care intensely about Tommo’s journey.

Mark Quartley, an outstanding young actor at the start of his career, takes on the role of Private Peaceful, and he creates a touching and affecting portrait.  During the course of the play he is called upon to create a battalionful of other characters that populate the stage in Tommo’s journey from Devon to the Western front.  The performance is energetic, with clear and precise transformations from one character to another, as Quartley effortlessly becomes a young wide eyed-child, a colonel, a schoolteacher and even a cantankerous old woman urging Tommo to join up for the army well before he’s reached the proper age.  He has an impressive physical presence and a vocal precision that creates and maintains the audience’s attention.  Sound and lighting carefully enhance the simplicity of the play; they are both judiciously used to indicate mood and location.  As the play reaches its conclusions key moments are dramatically staged, slow motion is used highly effectively to illustrate the pain of the battlefield and the worthlessness of human life on the Western Front.

The narrative is full of carefully woven images that trace Tommo as he grows from a young child in an Edwardian country idyll to the final moments of his life. The mud that young Tommo feels between his toes as a child when he walks excitedly through a stream becomes the gooey mud that “wants to drown you” in the trenches.  The thrill of seeing his first aeroplane cutting its way through the Devon sky becomes the smoke-trail of a Royal Flying Corp biplane plunging to the ground over Belgium.  The images that are evoked at the start of the play turn to dust as the horrors of war overcome Tommo and his brother Charlie.

Simon Reade’s adaptation makes no concessions to children regarding the reality of the battlefield and it has real bite; for the adult it has the simplicity and punch of a well-told parable.  However, there is also a lightness of touch that allows the audience to laugh at the world through Tommo’s eyes, even in extremis.

Michael Morpurgo’s books about the First World War and its effect on the individual have reached an entire generation of children and their influence grows. As the lavish stage adaptation of War Horse continues to run in the West End and the publicity machine cranks up for Spielberg’s adaptation of it for the big screen, Private Peaceful quietly begins its national tour at Greenwich Theatre.  It is worth noting how effective a one man show can be; it is startlingly simple, and surprisingly effective.

Private Peaceful is on at Greenwich Theatre until Sat 29th January.

A Greenwich Education

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When considering what secondary school might best serve their child, parents often look to the Government’s performance tables for GCSE results.  In recent years in Greenwich these have often been an embarrassment.  One thing which has particularly needled the Town Hall has been the number of  potentially high performing pupils from the Borough who have chosen to go to a grammar school in Bexley.

Some years ago the council tried to combat this by an advertising campaign featuring well-known people who had been educated in the Borough exhorting others to “Get a Greenwich Education”.  I remember in particular footballer Anton Ferdinand and Trudie “June Ackland from The  Bill” Goodwin.    While the posters told us when Anton had attended Blackheath Bluecoat School, they were too polite to tell us Trudie’s Eltham Hill vintage.

On the same theme the rebuilt Crown Woods campus near the Bexley border will be split into four distinct units including Delamere School for “high-ability”  11-16 year olds and seemingly a grammar school that dare not speak its name.

However the recently published results for 2010 are interesting.  Just over 50% of pupils at Greenwich achieved five GCSE passes at A*-C Grade including English and Maths.  This puts us in a lowly 29th place out of the 32 London Boroughs.  At the same time it continues a significant upward trend from the nadir of 2007 when Greenwich was firmly at the rear with a 34% pass rate.

2010 GCSE results 5 A*-C passes including English & Maths

Rank Borough %
1 Kensington & Chelsea 71.3
7 Bromley 65.1
13 Bexley 59.8
London Average 58.1
29 Greenwich 50.1
31 Lewisham 48

5 GCSEs at Grade A*-C including Maths & English

Trend 2007-2010

Rank Borough Increase in % pass rate
1 Southwark 17.7
2 Westminster 16.5
3 Greenwich 16.1
London Average 10.5

So is the glass half full or half empty?   Greenwich Time has predictably concentrated solely on the improvement and ignored the raw figures, while   Greenwich Conservatives provide an alternative, somewhat churlish, slant.

I feel that while there is clearly a lot of scope to do better, things do seem to be moving in the right direction and that Greenwich officers and lead Councillor Jackie Smith(no relation to the former Home Secretary) have cause for some limited trumpet blowing.

Whether examination results are the best indicator of a school’s performance is, of course, another issue…

Department for Education results for all schools can be seen here.

Paul Webbewood is a former Liberal Democrat councillor for the Middle Park and Sutcliffe Ward.

Greenwich Council’s Draft Core Strategy

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While most Greenwich Council watchers are poring over the forthcoming cuts, other work goes on.  The Planning Department has started the process of modifying the Council’s planning strategy.   This is important because planning applications are unlikely to get approval if they involve a conflict with the land uses specified in the strategy.

Accordingly the Council has published a Draft Core Strategy (DCS) and has invited comments on it.

The DCS assumes that the Borough’s population will increase from 235,000 now to 288,000 in 2027 and that this will create “a significant challenge” (Para 1.6.1).  However the Council believes this level of growth to be in the public interest as it “will attract more skilled workers to live in the Borough and to work in local businesses” (Para 3.5.8)

To fit in some of these new people the Council has identified two areas of industrial land which are “under-used and of poor environmental quality” (para 4.2.4).   These are Greenwich Peninsula West and Charlton Riverside. which are proposed for development as new “urban quarters” (ie lots and lots of high density housing)

Greenwich Peninsula West is bounded by the River, Mauritius Road, Blackwall Lane and Tunnel Avenue.   It includes the proposed liner terminal at Enderby Wharf.  The area to the north from Morden Wharf to the Victoria Deep Water Terminal is designated to remain in industrial use.

Charlton Riverside is quite a large area, bordered on the south by Woolwich Rd, on the east by Warspite Rd and on the west by the Angerstein railway line, although Angerstein’s Wharf itself and Christie’s Wharf next to it are still designated for industrial use.   The Council wants to reduce the amount of retail space in this area, preferring to see this relocated to town centres.   Why somebody has dreamt up the name Charlton Riverside for North Charlton is a mystery.

The DCS claims that “employment land which is retained will be intensified so there will be no net loss of employment across the waterfront area” (Para 4.2.4).

Other things of interest in the DCS include:

* A bizarre claim that Greenwich is one of the largest London Boroughs (Para 1.5.2).  In fact at 5,044 hectares it is the 12th largest.

*   A  proposal designed to stem the flow of pub closures by forcing applicants for a change of use to demonstrate that the site has been actively marketed as a pub for at least a year.

*  A policy to reduce car ownership by stopping residents of some new developments from getting on-street parking permits.

The closing date for comments on the DCS is 5th February.  The document is on the Council’s website and there are several public exhibitions arranged.

The DCS is the first step in quite a long process before any new policies are set in stone.  An amended document will be produced, followed by a second consultation and finally a Public Inquiry by a planning inspector.

Paul Webbewood is a former Liberal Democrat councillor for the Middle Park and Sutcliffe Ward.

Nicole Faraday: Greenwich’s Wicked Woman

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“Christmas isn’t Christmas without it, it’s sparkly, it’s fun, enjoyable for all the family – everybody needs a bit of glitter in their life!”

Nicole Faraday is sipping a hot toddy, nursing a rough throat and trying to think of a reason why we should all love panto.  She’s in the middle of a Snow White run at the Shaw Theatre on Euston Road, the other side of town for this SE10 based actress, and we are having a post-show drink at a bar in Euston station.

I have just sat through a fairly desperate two-and-a-half hours, lightened only by her and another actor, a pro comic called Andrew Fleming. Everyone has said it, including the reviewer from The Stage: she and he hold the whole thing together and provide the only entertainment in an otherwise pretty bad panto.

The lead, Snow White, is played by “ex-EastEnders star” Madeline Duggan. You could replace her with a mop in an Alice band and it would do a better job. She’s only 16 and is a TV actor not a stage darling, so she almost has an excuse, but then again, at £17 a ticket, the producers should be biting their fists in shame. The “ex-Gladiators star” Wayne Gordon is also lacking, but then he’s just on for some muscled-up eye candy, while Prince Charming, well, he’d be better off playing the wooden puppet in Pinocchio.

Nicole Faraday

Anyway, having left my critic head at the door – it’s for six-year-olds and it’s panto, after all – I had settled in to watch. I’ve known Nicole since we were neighbours in Greenwich, so my interest is not really professional. The first time I met her she was knocking on the glass door dressed as Barbarella, all silver hotpants and fur trim. “I can’t stop, I’m on my way to a party, but I just wanted to say Hi!” She came in and held court for 40 minutes – “Ooh! Wine! Go on then!” – and that was it, neighbourly friends.

“I like to think that although I play the evil character that I add a bit of sparkle and jeu-jeu to the audience’s Christmas,” Nicole is saying.

Show me what jeu-jeu is, I ask.

“I can’t show you for the newspaper, can I!” she laughs. (Despite telling she insists I’m writing this for a grand newspaper, I’m not I say, it’s for Greenwich’s local website). I get to sing fabulous big belty songs and I get to be evil with a wicked laugh – hahahahah.” That’s jeu-jeu.

Nicole is a proper actress. She is trained, can sing and has had proper TV roles: she enjoyed mini celebrity before it was ‘Celebrity’ as Snowball in the hit TV series Bad Girls. It was set in a women’s prison and the show had – still has – a cult following. It’s still shown around the world too, and she has made a mini career out of it, winning an award for her role in Bad Girls the musical in the West End.

At the time of her TV-fame she knocked back a photoshoot for one of the lads’ mags – or rather, her agent did. “She said it wasn’t what serious actresses did.” It might not have been quite the done thing, but it turned out to be a surefire route to mainstream attention and fame for many.

So instead of instant Celebrity and naked exposure, she has gone the long route – the ‘serious’ route. TV roles in stalwarts like Doctors, The Bill and Casualty, with theatre roles that take advantage of her powerful stage vocal. She toured for months playing US singer Eva Cassidy, before seeing another Celebrity, Steps singer Faye Tozer, take on the role a year later. She got it back again though, playing her at Greenwich Theatre and on tour in the UK.

And of course panto. Every year she gets to play a wicked queen or an evil witch.

“This is the third time I’ve played Wicked Queen in Snow White, but I’ve played Evil Queen in Sleeping Beauty too.” The Stage praised her performance this year, saying she was “bosomy and fun”. The British Theatre Guide called her “suitably vile” with a “wicked laugh”.

“She’s my favourite part because she’s such an archetypal baddie,” she says. “And she goes along with other bad characters I’ve played.”

She likes it, she says, because, “you can play it glamorous but her heart is black as night.” She’s attractive but “evil and cunning with it”. She adds, “Otherwise you’re just playing an old witch in make up.”

Nicole is too professional to diss her other cast members, but it’s clear she is head and shoulders above the others, as is her co-star Fleming. Doesn’t she get annoyed, seeing TV Celebrities steal the limelight – and the pay cheques – from trained pros?

She demurs, and instead talks about “market forces” and “bums on seats”. It is important though, she adds, to have a “mix” of those who are “experienced and fully trained and used to the genre” as well as “people recognisable from the television”.

We talk about something else. Dwarves. One of the weirdest parts of Snow White is how, in this production and others, the Dwarves are so often played by children in costume. Often with a recorded soundtrack of their voices. It’s freaky.

She laughs outrageously very briefly and then composes herself. “This is what I’d like to say,” she begins. “Every year, when there are lots of Snow White’s going on, there is a national dwarf shortage.” Really? “And they get paid a fortune. Sometimes they have to fly dwarves in from other countries.” Who knew?

“Consequently, a number of productions have to rely on children from local dance schools wearing massive heads, which is what we’ve got.”

Or rather, they did. The day after our interview Nicole posts on her Facebook page (1,100 friends and rising) that two of the children playing dwarves were stopped from going on stage mid-show because the production didn’t have the right licenses for the child actors. “Chaperones will be charged,” is how she put it.

Nicole has lived in Greenwich since 1998. She spent 10 years in a flat in West Grove before the whole building was redeveloped into one house. “My entire flat is now the kitchen.”

“Then I moved to Nevada Street,” she says, “opposite the Greenwich Theatre stage door and the Rose and Crown, which is one of my favourite pubs. We used to use my living room as the smoking area. Then I moved to Maze Hill, where I live now.”

New Year will see her hanging up her Wicked Queen crown for another year and embarking on new theatre projects.

“I’m going to be working on a new idea called Band of Gold the Musical written with Kay Mellor,” she says very enthusiastically. “We’re just workshopping it but I’m very excited about it.”

Then there is a one-woman show: “Two 45-minute sets with a piano and guitar at the Pheasantry on the King’s Road on January 22nd.”

And there is her regular stint hosting Show Off, a cabaret night in London’s West End where the audience – very often off-duty or post-show West End performers – take advantage of an open mic to belt out show tunes.

It’s got quite a following: “We’ve had Nick Moran from Lock Stock, and Keira Knightley turned up last time.” After joining in with the Oom-Pa-Pa sing-a-long at the end the Hollywood star said she’d enjoyed herself and “would be back”.

Very jeu-jeu, I say.

“Yes,” she laughs wickedly, “Very!”

Nicole Faraday  hosts Show Off on 7 January and plays the Pheasantry on 22 January

The Cost of Leadership

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On 9th December the Evening Standard published an article on councillors’ allowances in London. I’ve constructed a table which tries to put Greenwich in context:

2009-2010 Figures London Average Greenwich
Total of councillors’
allowances		 £994,991 £943,330
Leader of Council’s total
allowances		 £50,529 £62,816
Basic allowance £9,972 £10,210

Looking at this, it appears that Greenwich is in the mainstream on total expenditure and the amounts paid to ward councillors, but that Council Leader Chris Roberts receives almost 25% more than the average for his job. Indeed the figure in the table is inflated by including the three elected Mayors. In the 29 Boroughs without elected Mayors, only two leaders seem to have done better than Mr Roberts.

When challenged previously about his allowances Chris Roberts has correctly claimed that they are in line with the recommendations of London Councils (LC) the representative body for local government in London

Now LC is effectively run on behalf of Council Leaders and cynics might say that its views on what they should get paid are about as valuable as those of a committee of sharks on bathing arrangements at Sharm el Sheikh. Indeed Chris Roberts received £10,000+ from LC in 2009-10 on top of his Greenwich Council money (as did many other leaders).

Be that as it may, it is true that an independent panel appointed by LC says that being a Council Leader is

“a full-time job, involving a high level of responsibility and now includes the exercise of executive responsibilities. It is right that it should be remunerated on a basis which compares with similar positions in the public sector, while still retaining a reflection of the voluntary character of public service“.

This panel recommended that Council Leaders in London be paid a total of £64,864 per annum. I would agree with the principle set out by the panel but not necessarily with the amount they came up with. In practice almost all Councils choose to regard it as a ceiling rather than a direction – indeed Greenwich pays its councillors who are Cabinet Members significantly less than the LC recommendation for their role. However for Chris Roberts alone the letter of the law applies.

Does Mr Roberts deserve more money then his peers in the rest of London? Well it is certainly true to say that Greenwich has a good record in keeping Council Tax low over the last decade or so, although it is difficult to disentangle how much of this is down to good housekeeping and how much to the effects of Government funding formulas. On the other hand Greenwich is consistently ranked as being below the London average in the quality of its services.

I conclude therefore that, while Chris Roberts has displayed a basic level of competence as Council Leader since 2000, he is by no means a municipal superstar and his pay should be reduced to the London average. While a saving of £12,287 would only be a drop in the ocean in the Council’s current position, it would be a sign of the Council’s good faith and common sense as it starts to navigate the troubled waters ahead.

Theatre Review: Cinderella, Greenwich Theatre

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Trudging through the snow and ice with the kids makes a pantomime feel particularly special. Perhaps it’s the anticipation of the warm atmosphere inside the theatre, or it might just be memories of being taken to Greenwich Theatre as a kid back in the ‘70s.  Cinderella, this year’s Christmas panto doesn’t disappoint, it packs a punch in every department and leaves the audience overflowing with goodwill.  It might lack the celebrity touch, but while Hasslehoff swashbuckles in Wimbledon and Melinda Messenger is the genii of Bromley, it is the strength of the ensemble that may make Greenwich’s offering the pick of the bunch.

Every performer works their brightly coloured socks off to give the audience a great time and the script, expertly written by Andrew Pollard, gives the whole cast a chance to shine.  Pollard returns to Greenwich for the fifth time as a dame, this time as an ugly sister, so what better place to start when talking about this show?  From the wispy tops of their ridiculous wigs to the handsomely constructed knickers under their fantastical dresses the ugly sisters, in the form of a thin Pollard and a wide Paul Critoph, relish every comic moment.  Their sheer size gives them, literally, a comic head start as they totter around the stage on huge platform shoes.  The audience loved the double entendres and their easy command of the stage – we know we’re in safe hands and the laughs are long and loud.   Their set pieces, in the bedroom and the bathroom, are accomplished pieces of silliness and both performers know exactly how to use an improvised aside for maximum effect

Adam Dougal as Buttons builds a cheeky relationship with the audience, whilst Tania Mathurin, playing the Fairy Godmother, doesn’t have to rely on pyrotechnics to carry her through the show; she has a cracking voice and a presence to match.   In fact all the cast are able to carry a song and Steve Marwick’s musical direction shrewdly caters for all age groups with medleys effortlessly merging The Andrews Sisters with the Eurythmics and Tinie Tempah.  The show ends with the inevitable sing-along and such was the rapport that the cast had with the audience that I couldn’t see anybody who wasn’t joining in; it would have taken a real grouchnot to have gone along with the crowd.

Cinderella and Prince Charlemagne carry the main storyline. In panto these moments often flag as the audience anticipates the arrival of another comic scene, but in this production Hannah Wilding and Luke Kempner keep the momentum of the romantic plot going with good comic timing and help from Tommy Coleman’s strong Dandini.

The genre of pantomime requires the director to tread a fine line between polished amateurism and over-produced glitz, and this show not only treads the line but dances along it with glee.  The director Kieron Smith keeps a tight reign on the performers, making sure the pace is fast and snappy, always leaving the audience wanting slightly more.  The choreography is never too ambitious, but always witty and attractive.  Mention should be made of the talented, hardworking and young group of singers and dancers that form the dance ensemble.   Constantly energetic, this small group manages to punch well above its weight, creating the sense that there are many more performers than there actually are.  This becomes a great strength as they confidently join in with the fun that the leads are having on stage.

The design of the show makes the most of the warmth that can be created in Greenwich Theatre, a proscenium arch, richly painted in gold and apricot colours, brings the actors as close to the audience as possible and makes the most of the stage’s thrust, allowing transformations to be effected through the revolving sets.  The show achieves a huge amount with limited resources, so much can be achieved with a couple of mirror balls and a whiff of smoke; there’s something really attractive about a show that relies on the strength of the performers rather than the ‘wow’ of theatrical wizardry.

To be frank I wasn’t expecting to enjoy the show as much as I did, and I think that applied to most of the audience.   Several hundred audience members got more than their money’s worth and, if you haven’t booked your seat, do so now.  The show has already extended its run by 10 days to accommodate record ticket sales.

Greenwich Theatre booking information

Book Review: Crump by P.J. Vanston

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Wandering through the grounds of the Old Naval College it is easy to see that the university has brought many good things, including refurbishment of buildings and a pretty good stationery shop and, indeed, the freedom to wander through the grounds.  P.J. Vanston’s book Crump, set in a ‘fictional’ university firmly located in the heart of Greenwich, looks behind the facade into the workings of a new university; to say that he doesn’t like what he sees is putting it mildly.  The contrast between the dreaming domes of Wren’s buildings and the standard of education within is at the heart of this acerbic comic novel.  I confess I haven’t spent much time thinking about what happens inside the Naval College since its transformation to a university, and this book has set my mind wondering.

The onomatopoeically named Crump, a lecturer in English, arrives in Greenwich with hope in his heart, a spring in his step and filled with a desire to educate.  He is quickly cast adrift in the stormy world of burkas, multiculturalism and gender-neutral linguistics and soon his spirit is crumpled by the weight of education-speak and political correctness.   Whatever else the book is it is thought provoking, holding many sacred cows of political correctness up for ridicule in what should be compulsory reading for the Daily Mail book club – if such a thing exists.  There are uncomfortable passages when Vanstone challenges the reader’s own political correctness; there is no doubt that the book can be quite outspoken in confronting issues of race, gender and sexuality.

Crump is very readable, events come thick and fast, assaulting and mugging both Crump and the reader.  This means that the author leaves us little time to digest events before we’re into the next outrageous catalogue of catastrophes.  A moment for us to catch breath would have been helpful, perhaps allowing descriptions of characters to be more fully viewed through Vanstone’s comic eye.    There is much common sense in the pages of this book, but there is little to distinguish between the author’s voice and Crump’s voice, making passages of the book a barely concealed manifesto against university education as we know it today.  The book is not wholly negative though, praising as it does aspiration and academic learning, but is does yearn for the days before admission fees and courses of dubious progeny.  This certainly strikes a chord, and many readers working in university education will identify more strongly with the political thrust and main character than I did.

The references to Greenwich are very specific, with glowing descriptions of the park and the Cutty Sark.  The pubs get short shrift and Vanstone’s characters don’t explore Greenwich much beyond the town centre – Crump might have been more chilled had he found The Union, or if he had been able to look out of his office window towards The Old Brewery.  The inner workings of the university were illuminated a little when I went on the tour of the library, or ‘learning zone’, on Open House weekend and Vanstone has certainly captured the impersonal utilitarian atmosphere that I detected.  The use of Greenwich as a backdrop for the book is effective and lingers in the imagination; although not nearly in the same class as Conrad and Ackroyd, you should think of adding Crump to the your literary Greenwich reading list.

Cllr Matthew Pennycook on last night’s meeting to discuss traffic & pedestrianisation proposals

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The following article was posted by Cllr Matthew Pennycook on the Greenwich West Labour website and he has kindly allowed me to reproduce it here.

Last night West Greenwich residents held a meeting in the Prince of Greenwich public house to discuss traffic-calming measures and the Greenwich Town Centre (GTC) pedestrianisation proposals that will come before the Council’s Cabinet in the New Year. As local Councillors we were invited to come along to speak at the meeting.

Residents raised a variety of questions about traffic-calming measures that could be introduced to deal with the problems that already face residents in the West Greenwich Conservation Area. The potential impact of the GTC pedestrianisation proposals on nearby residential streets was also discussed.

As local representatives we apologised for any confusion that had arisen out of a small meeting Council officers held with key stakeholders and Resident Association representatives on 28th October. Local Councillors could not attend the meeting due to prior commitments. It was designed primarily as an opening discussion of plans to address the serious issues of rat-running which residents have raised with us and officials over many months. However, during the meeting residents were told by Council officers that a firm date and decision-making body for the proposals had been agreed upon. This was incorrect and as local Councillors we have taken firm action through the Council Chief Executive to ensure that a similar situation does not happen again.

During the meeting we made clear that there have been two public consultations on the GTC pedestrianisation proposals (Dec-Jan 2009/10 and July 2010) both of which were advertised in the Council’s freesheet Greenwich Time and on the Council website (a copy of the Council’s advertisement and questionnaire can be found to the right hand side of this page). The Council also held an exhibition in Devonport House where residents could question Council officers on any aspect of the proposed scheme.

In addition we explained how as local Councillors we had fought for an extension of the consultation period after July 2010 in an effort to get further feedback from residents. During this period we personally hand-delivered a non-political leaflet on the proposals to every household in the Ward. This leaflet contained our contact details and a freepost tear off slip so that residents could easily let us know their views or get in touch with further questions. From this additional round of consultation we received 30-40 responses from residents across the Ward including those on Crooms Hill, Prior Street, Circus Street, Gloucester Circus, Royal Hill and many more.

We reiterated that the Council is wholly persuaded of the case to address traffic problems in the West Greenwich Conservation Area and made clear our intention to implement an appropriate scheme in full consultation with local residents irrespective of whether any scheme of pedestrianisation proceeds or not.

Council officers in attendance explained that traffic modelling data made available on the 28th is part of an iterative process and information on the potential impact of the partial pedestrianisation on traffic in nearby residential streets will continue to be utilised as the details of the scheme evolve in our discussions with local residents and businesses. They also informed residents that the Council is continuing to work with Transport for London who have been engaged at each stage in order to ensure the arrangements for bus routes (including stops) are properly assessed.

We were at pains to clarify that no timetable for a decision on the partial pedestrianisation scheme has been set, not least because Council officers continue to work through the traffic implications of such a scheme and to consult with those businesses and residents who would still require some vehicular access to pedestrianised streets under the proposals.

A decision on the pedestrianisation proposals will be taken in due course by the Council’s Cabinet. This will be a public meeting at which members of the public will, subject to appropriate time constraints, be welcome to speak and make representations. We assured residents who attended that full information on the traffic impact of the pedestriansation proposals and changes to bus routes and stops will be made available to the public for informed input into the decision-making process and to Cabinet members to make their decision in due course.

We will ensure that residents know the date and time of this meeting. If you wish to be kept informed please email matthew.pennycook@greenwich.gov.uk